Vocations?
Personal Reflections on my vocation as a transqueer Catholic in the Academy of Religion.
- #queer #lgbtq #queer people of faith #lgbtq catholic #catholic #queer catholic #trans people of faith #trans theology #queer theology #healing
- 3 years ago
- 8
Pope Francis and Me, A Feminist Kill-Joy
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- #queer catholic #Catholic #LGBTQ Christian #LGBTQ
- 4 years ago
- 11
You know you were raised Catholic when…
Every time you have a crush on someone you place all your attention on you and the other persons life goals and if it doesn’t look like long term possibility you get over your crush.
- #catholic #homonormative #me
- 4 years ago
- 4
Today my gender is “Christ be our Light”
- #queer catholic #catholic #agender #non-binary #queer person of faith
- 4 years ago
- 2
- AnonymousI'm wanting to join the Catholic Church, but I fear being openly gay and a member. How do you deal with this?
It is hard for me to speak towards conversion to Catholicism because I was raised in the faith and in the culture, but I will try my best! There is no easy answer. Historically the Catholic Church has fucked over the queer and gay community time and time again. There is a unique and powerful history there, but yet queer and gay Catholics still exist.
I do want to tell you, that every queer/gay/sexual and gender minority Catholic integrates their faith identity and their gender/sexual identity differently. For me, my queerness and my Catholicism aren’t contradictory or bring conflict into my life. This is not saying that how the two co-exist is one without turmoil, but rather it is in the tension created by this existence, that I have come to understand God* and Christ.
I love God*. I love Christ. I find the most feeling of being whole during the Eucharist at Mass. Mass is a time to be in solidarity with Catholics all around the world, while simultaneously being in a close personal union with God. The journey to experience the Church in this way hasn’t been easy. I went through a period where I hated God, I hated myself. I have worked for the Church almost my entire post-high school career and have almost been fired, called a heretic, forced back into the closet over and over and over again. It got so bad that at one point I would have panic attacks during mass. I would sit in the pew crying and shaking, paranoid that everyone in my community didn’t want me there. That I was “too out”, “too gay”, not a “good enough” Catholic. And the only time the panic would stop was during the Eucharist, and as soon as the meditation period after Communion would end the panic would come back. But I remained.
What that time in my life taught me is that there is no such thing as a “good Catholic”. The “holier-than-thou” mentality is one developed in insecurity. And through coming to terms with who I am and how I hold my faith in my hands, my life changed for the better.
Being queer or gay in the Catholic Church is not easy. Some take the route of embracing their sexuality in line with Catholic Doctrine, they don’t identify as gay but rather individuals with “Same-Sex Attraction” (often abbreviated to SSA). For them that is how they integrate, what our world says are two separate identities, and come to terms with who they are. Focusing their attention onto friendships and fostering holiness through celibacy and chastity.
Others are denounce the Church, say they are “non-practicing” and embrace the Rainbow flag with open arms and open hearts, but there is a culture in Catholicism that is hard to let go of. I once found a collection of short stories, essays and poems all written by Queer Catholics and their narratives are filled with pain, sadness, joy, love, confusion, and revelation. They haven’t let go of the Church entirely, and if they have, that’s okay.
And then there are some like me. I don’t see my sexuality in conflict with my religion. I don’t see that my communities are entirely separate. My sexuality is Catholic and my religion is Queer. I am chaste but not celibate. I am loved by God* and those who have a problem with that, need to unpack some shit. I am wholely holy. No part of me was unintended by God*. And as I dive deeper theologically with my life I am being tested, but that is one truth that God* has revealed to me.
Queer Catholics, and Queer people of Faith, have an important role in the world. We experience the world through a plethora of lenses all at once; finding liberation in things that society has tried to ingrained as filled with hate. We have a unique perspective of compassion. We have a unique perspective on the power of prayer. We have a story to tell and this coming era is the time to finally let our narratives be shared.
I will not sugar coat this response with “The Catholic Church is a beautiful community of love and support! Please Come Join Us!” because for queer folk thats not always true. But I will say that the challenges that have been placed in my life because of my faithfilled sexuality and my sexual faith, have allowed me to experience the world in a much more fulfilling way. It has made me socially conscious. It has made me re-think history, the present, and the future. It has taught me the meaning of community, of solidarity, of self-love. I will stand with you if you decide to enter this Church and I want you to know that I will be sending you prayers/good feels/positive thoughts, what have you, for your entire journey. It is a long one. And know that your sexuality is not your cross to bear. The cross is the oppression, the pain, the loneliness brought on by society and the joy of the Catholic Church is that we never bear our crosses alone.
- #queer folks of faith #queer #LGBTQ #Catholic #Catholic and gay #SSA #queer catholics #Christian #Christianity #Divinity School #God #Jesus #Gay Jesus #catholic #same-sex attraction
- 5 years ago
- 7
Nothing like a rosary to calm you out of a Catholic related anxiety attack… Yay… Just gonna curl up and cry.
- #catholic #rosary #God heals while the Church hurts
- 5 years ago
- 9
The Catholic Church is really bad at receiving criticism and reacting to being held accountable.
Feeling pretty confidently in quitting the Catholic Church… I try to believe I can hold on and make a difference, but having doors slammed in your face and your voice silenced by straight cis folks… I’m so not about this life, and anyone who tells me that God’s love for queer folks is found in the the Catholic Church is full of shit.
I try to be open and willing for dialogue. But it’s become quite apparent that the Church doesn’t want to hear my voice.
- #catholic #queer #not ssa
- 5 years ago
- 9
Who Is God?
I found myself today in a nuance non-denominational church by the edge of a lake. I never had gone to a non-denominational service before, and for those of you who are new to my blog I was raised Catholic. I was born into Church of beautiful stain glass windows, complex verbal choreography, and the sort of orthopraxy one can only find in the walls of a cathedral. That is were I came from, what I know, and Christian-Culture Shock hit me like bells during the transubstantiation during Mass.
There I was sandwiched between two friends, so eager to share their community with me, listening to praise and worship music, and in all honesty I mistook the stained glass windows as disco lights when I entered their doors. This was not where I imagined spending my mother’s day.
The music ended, a younger man in a plaid, short-sleeved, button up and jeans walks to the front of the congregation. My friend leans over whispers that this is their pastor and I begin to prepare myself for what ever impassioned sermon was about to poor forth from his lips. I have never called a homily a sermon, sermons to me are flashbacks of hate crimes, and burning signs… Homily has always rested well in my tongue. I breath in.
His sermon was on a brief passage from the book of Deuteronomy. Deuteronomy 6: 10-25 to be precise. I can honestly say I have not opened to the book of Deuteronomy since my freshmen year Old Testament Class in high school, and for the first time, in a a long time, I felt uneducated. It humbled me.
He read the passage to us, formed a list with scriptural words of 7 ways of living to help us be “better” Christians. I have never once identified as a Christian. I breathe, come back into the room. He is on the second way of living.
Number 2. Know God as God.
He said with conviction. Then smiling, as he looked at his congregation, he asked us “What is the first thing you think of when you hear the Word God?”
Change. Reconciliation. Forgiveness.
Then I realize those three words are all a different form of the same thing. When I imagine myself with God, I imagine myself in a constant state of transformation. Learning as God shows me all the ways I can change and all the ways God can love me, and I love God.
Forgiveness, like Change, is a constant process. Growing closer to God is a Constant Process. I am a constant process. Like a seed thrown on the road, the rocks, the thorns, and good soil all at once. But my life is not a parable.
I learned from this Culture-Shock Christianity, how Catholicism is, even though ever traditionalist will argue with me, a constant process. Evolution through God, through Change, through Forgiveness.
My eyes watered with my sudden realization. My hands held down, inter locked, as if holding a firefly of God’s presence between my palms. I recieved communion. No procession, no bells, no priest on an alter, but Christ’s body was still there. Grape Juice wine soaked bread, no flattened wafer on my tongue. Christ’s body in my light. My body in Christ’s light.
And with peace I exhale…
Amen.
- #creative non-fiction #christianity #catholic #religion #creative writing #poetry #theopoetics #God is Change #God is Forgiveness #God is Evolution
- 5 years ago
- 2
Maybe I need You….
I spent the last three days at my Newman Center’s Fall Retreat; I came back tired, smelly, and full of a sense of peace that I hadn’t felt for such a long time. This retreat marked the four year anniversary of when I first “came out” to God, the four year anniversary of when I first felt God truly present in my life, and the four year anniversary of my involvement in a community (no matter how frustrating it can be) that has helped me grow closer to God.
This us above! These folks have challenged me in how I want to grow in communion with God*. These folks have blessed me with friends, who pray in public with a sign of the cross as their badge of honor. These folks have made me laugh, cry, scream, and sing. These folks have ignited that spark in my heart four years ago, and now as I am applying to Divinity School, I see the path God* is laying before me.
The funny thing about the path God* places you on, is that you its never quite as stable as you want. This retreat has showed me the grace that lies within the instability in my life. My gender, my sexuality, my relationship with Christ are always in flux, always shifting, and never quite as stable as I want. And sometimes, instability is exactly what you need to keep you grounded.
This retreat has given me beautiful conversations with my peers. I have grown closer to my Catholic Community, a community that I have been doubting my involvement in for quite sometime. I spent 3 hours with Christ on Saturday night. It was just me and Him, well he was in the form of the Holy Eucharist. My mind was racing. I couldn’t finish a rosary. I was distracted and not present. Christ was standing before me and I couldn’t even get myself to look at him for more than 3 minutes at a time.
It wasn’t until after I left Adoration that it really hit me. I’m lacking focus. I have to many worries about myself, my community, and my life. I need focus and patience to see myself, my community, and the world as it truly is. I’m still learning how to focus. I’m still in some need of patience. But what this retreat has shown me is the learning and growing is not an individual process. Learning and growing takes many parts and many persons. My dried-hydrangea heart is finally being nourished again, and the compassion and joy I felt this weekend was those first drops of rain refilling my roots with reminders of why I am planted here in the first place.
- #my life #writings #retreats #Catholic #God is so freaking cool
- 5 years ago
- 3
This sounded really interesting… So… Catholic Q&A
Did you attend Catholic School or Public school?
Catholic School Kindergarten through High School
What was the name of your parish?
St. Anthony of Padua and Sacred Heart
What age were you Confirmed?
16
What is your confirmation saint?
St. Sergius the Martyr
Is there a saint you have a special connection or devotion to? Why?
Mary, the mother of God*, is my favorite saint. She has helped me through more things than I can even count. St. Felicity, St. Perpetua, St. Sergius, and St. Bacchus are all martyr saints who died for Christian faith but were also in extremely close same-sex relationships (not necessarily sexual) and were joined by the early Christian brother-making ceremony, so their stories really speak to me as a queer Catholic.
Do you serve a ministry at Mass?
Yes, I am a Lector as well as an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist.
Which Mass do you usually attend? (Saturday, early Sunday, etc)
Sunday Evening typically.
Organ or Piano? What instruments do you like to hear at Mass?
My home parish had an organ, which was okay. My university’s Catholic group has a band with a guitar, keyboard, flute, trumpet.
What do the stained glass windows in your church depict?
My home church one the ground level had windows depicting the lives of various saints, while higher up, more towards the roof, the windows depicted the life of Christ including his Passion. With one large circular window with the Holy Mother at the back of the Church.
What shape is your church?
Its a square-ish thing… but my chapel in high school was a Cathedral and it was in the shape of a cross.
Do you have padded pews in your church?
Nope.
Does your church have carpet?
Only in certain parts.
Does your church have a Crucifix as the focal point?
Yes
Is the Tabernacle in your church at the front or in a side chapel?
Side Chapel at my home parish, front of the church at my university.
Does your church have a choir loft?
Yes but no one ever uses it.
Does your church have an school with it?
My home parish has an elementary school with it. (which is the school I attended)
What is your favorite event that your church puts on?
I love my parish’s mardi gras festival to celebrate before Lent. I also love our Holy Thursday mass and the washing of the feet. Also pretty much all of Holy Week and my parish does a living stations of the cross (which I have participated in numerous times growing up).
Do you hold hands during the Our Father?
Yes… but at school a large portion of our community doesnt and it makes me sad.
Do you kneel before Communion? After?
Both.
Do you light votive candles for prayers?
When I have time.
What church have you visited that impressed you the most?
St. Peter’s in Rome…. it was huge, gorgeous, amazing. Also St. Mary’s in a town near my school. Its a tiny parish but their church is beautiful in the most un-explainable way.
Which church would you most like to visit?
Notre Dame in Paris and I would love to do a pilgrimage to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe.
Have you had a really terrible religious experience?
I have had some awful confession experiences. Where priests have told me that I was going to contract AIDS and die…. Also just a lot of bigotry and micro-aggressions from “friends” in my university’s Catholic group.
Have you had a prayer that was answered just the way you’d hoped?
No
Have you had a prayer answered opposite the way you’d hoped and then it turned out to be awesome?
Yes
When did you really feel awakened in your faith?
My freshmen year of college. I had a beautiful life-changing metanoia when I meditated on the rosary and Mary really brought me closer to God.
Do you know someone who has converted?
Yup
Do you know someone who is converting?
Yup
Do you know someone who has fallen away?
Yup
Do you know someone who has come back to the faith?
Yup
Do you like contemporary Christian music?
Depends… there is some really good stuff
Do you like Gregorian chants?
Ehhh… they’re okay.
Do you go to Latin Masses?
I’ve been to a few. They are alright.
Do you like the smell of incense?
Yes! Its one of my favorite smells ever!
What is your favorite Gospel?
John or Matthew
Have you ever visited a seminary?
Yup
Have you ever visited a monastery?
No, but I want/need to! My favorite priest just became a monk.
Have you ever visited a convent?
Nope.
- #catholic #see i am religious #queer of faith #life
- 5 years ago
- 1
Queer Theological Books I want to buy ASAP!!!!
Althaus – Reid, Marcella: Indecent Theology
Althaus – Reid, Marcella: Liberation Theology and Sexuality (SCM Reclaiming Liberation Theology Series)
Althaus – Reid, Marcella: The Queer God
Althaus-Reid, Marcella, and Lisa Isherwood (eds). 2009. Trans/Formations (Controversies in Contextual Theology)
Evans, Amie M: Queer and Catholic
Guest, Deryn, Mona West, Robert E. Goss, and Thomas Bohache, (eds). The Queer Bible Commentary
Goss, Robert: Queering Christ: Beyond Jesus Acted Up
Isherwood, Lisa, and Mark D. Jordan, editors. Dancing Theology in Fetish Boots: Essays in Honour of Marcella Althaus-Reid
Isherwood, Lisa. The Power of Erotic Celibacy: Queering Heterosexuality
Cheng, Patrick S. From Sin to Amazing Grace: Discovering the Queer Christ
Stone, Ken: .Practicing Safer Texts: Food, Sex and Bible in Queer Perspective
- #life #list for safe keeping #queer theology #queer christian #religion #catholic #queer catholic #radical religious renagade
- 6 years ago
- 10
What About Contraception in Pope Francis’s Promise to the Poor? by Dawn DiPrince
Pope Francis, at nearly every opportunity – including the choice of his name, has symbolically expressed a commitment to the poor. In just a little over a month, he has declined the customary gold …
- #Catholic Feminism #Catholic #Francis #Pope #Contraceptives #poor #social justice theology #Feminist #religion
- 6 years ago
The Trinity is NOT a Nuclear Family.
Reports from the USA are that the Catholic Bishops have chosen the important celebration of the Trinity to encourage parishioners to oppose marriage equality. This initiative is bizarre, incomprehensible. However one views the Trinity, this is emphatically not a model of the nuclear family. At the simplest level, of the two persons of the Trinity, in the popular imagination two are emphatically male - as Father and Son. The third, the Holy Spirit, is sometimes thought of by progressive Christians as female, mostly in the interests of gender balance. Each of these three persons is in a deeply loving, intense relationship with each of the others, which leads the iconoclastic queer theologian Marcella Althaus - Reid to describe the Trinity as being in a permanent polyamorous orgy with itself. But a closer look shows greater complexity. God the Father is also thought of as God the Creator - notable for calling all of creation into being  But creation is …
- #Catholic #Queer Theology #QueeringtheChurch #Religion #Christianity
- 6 years ago
- 8